Money to Madness to Peace

10.21.08

I'm out on the docks throwing money into the water like casting my chance to natures grimace. Or at least I'm envisioning it. I notice that after I've thrown what seems to be hundreds of dollars into this water, I haven't really changed. The money kind of floats off into the distance, silhouetted of course by the pale moon. At times a sick instinct, almost primal, wants me to go and swim to it. But in my educated guile, I sit still, a gargoyle perched on the shore of competence and well versed in bubonic plagues. My money floats away as my esoteric beauty of the sweeping night floats into my mind. A small smile streaks my lips. Someone is dancing out along the shore by the trees. They're casting shadows which are punching holes in the ragged remnants of light. A fire is burning across the water and black figures accompany it's licks and desperate sparks. Who are these distant shadows? Where have they come from?, where are they going?, do they need me? I grab my credit cards and identification along with my wallet and toss it into the liquid blackness. The water absorbs it almost reluctantly. A nearby light flickers on and casts an orange hue across the vague outline of natural law. My skin is washed in orange, my eyes must glow like crying spirits do, the stars are so large in the sky I can almost hear them burning. Without this money, these collective units of green that admit acquisition, I am free. The hum of the night is louder than ever. I am cut off from society. I am of no use with these empty pockets. I have melded into the archaic sonic stream of time, I have blistered the fog with my forceful stare of survival. But most importantly, I have been thrown back into the rollicking flood of painless evolution. I walk to the end of these broken docks and not only do I jump in to this water, I become it. My mind melts into the mellifluous ebb and flow of wisdom's fortune, the melodious splashes I make, I'm in a time exposure, my existence has warped and the colors of my mind tantalize my skipping, speeding soul. My soul my soul my soul. MY SOUL. Here it is at last. It's boiling in the rushing rivers of my blood, the water is empty, my soul is smashing through my skeleton in blasts of ecstasy and euphoric heaven. Golden spirals of haze are invading my sight, I have been cleared of the earwax of apathy. I have arrived. This is the level of existence I have hunted for. Hunted and tracked through wilting fields of frosting flowers and dark, cold streets where chaos reigns. The universe and time are not chaotic. They are the essence of everything. Of you, of me, of our paths together that diverge and cross all around. Everything here is silent, waiting to be awoken by venturous humans with their glowing auras of gentle patience. No mans land was conquered long before my time and a river of hope runs through it. It's all out there for you, for me, for whatever reason it is. Just listen.