Please.... .. .

12.28.08

Good day sunshine, you're out there doping for gold. I see your shaking reflection in the black plastic. You stand behind me like a backwards explosion; a sick outcast. My head is in the sink and the water is running. What is that coming through the speakers? Subdued techno? Some steady ambient beat drenched in reverb. Whatever. My hair flips over my forehead as the water pressure increases. Fluorescent lights flicker across the high ceiling lines as I am saved from the wilderness. Walking over to the expanse, expanse of windows, seeing the rain pouring down, the country rain across this last respite of undeveloped land. I put my hands up to the glass and squint to deflect the rays, filters, and try to feel what it's like to be outside. Like a silent and fading dream, the rain falls, ambient wind blows the tree tops in the fogged out distance. So this is where peace has retreated to. To lay wounded. Peace as defined by treaties and flags is the world outside as they know it, I see it as vision, as machine guns in their sleek receptacles. Soaring energy over shadows my free-thoughts and the rays are defeated when the momentary clouds envelop the orifices facing the universe, rushing across the silver sky. What a strange thing it is to exist, to look up at infinity... and know... that it is beautiful. I sit down at the desk against the faux-titanium wall-- low- density, sleek... processing... I'm missing you now too and... please write, please write... Auto- reply.... please write... These moments diminish wave by wave-- so, so quickly. Smile so I know that you're in love with me, touch the screen, whisper. I wander back into the static leaving the desk chair spinning as the wind blows the door open. New exile, new homecoming. Peace is betrayed.