Things We Tried to Burn

8.4.09

I swing the doors open and march down the halls of power, shrieking to St. Peter, the nuns, the angels who treat us well, "forgive me!" I shout to their motionless stone faces, "forgive me!", "for my unworldliness!"." I AM THE FATHER, THE FATHER OF NIGHT".And, I HAVE become sick, deploringly, unshavenly, criminally sick of this social vomit, this sick, sick fucking society! But fuck it, forget about it, live with it anyway, fuck it like you love it. every cruel, bright, minute I sit and flounder, awaking before dawn, walking through the gardens of the estate, in a state of apathy, for i am an american, i am an american survivor, the centuries, they have proved kind to those like me, and I stand at the final inhalation of it all, coughing in a fit for you to take me, for I cannot take you with me. Cleanse me lord, cleanse the filth, and I asked for NONE of it! I sear the voice into my mind, burnt witchcraft, hollowed evening wood, east coast history, lost behind the clocks, I'm finding it now, feeling it in the dream that's coming over me, washing myself in freedom's bloody juices, in my dark ornate room, with the curtains billowing, i wash myself with it, all over. i'm speaking succulent of the spirit sex, the incubi and succubi. dank thanks for the accidental luck we have. There's danger, I watched her strip beneath the burning flagpole, confusion streaks struck in strokes over eyes of passing hearts, the heart's eyes, eyes I want to passionately fuck, and run forever in them afterward, as a child after awakening at midnight, falling down the stairs, looking out of them, safe inside, like the king atop the tower, ride the waves with me, away from me, into the sea, out, out out! out there. ride the cold, cold waves baby. come on, die young, die proud, in a drastic fever. love is the chemical, this final, drug. Pull me, rip me uncleanly, from this vile union, i can't get lost enough to find you, all the world's calls would be fine, clearly day is coming, world's of imagination, you'll find your way out, I'll wait, for you, where the sun does not come, in a color unknown, where love dies with hate, dream not dream. swim under the ice, spin the wheel at night, this life is what you make it, and I make it mine. Sharing, sharing, what has become of it? understanding is confrontational, unity is divisional, the military thought, she is beautiful is he not? beautiful baby, beautiful. toy soldiers, GI Joe's, the clothes i just ripped from you, are produced in china baby, China. china girl, love me, lick my cold, rich, skin, align yourself with the serpent, intense in it's ancient ways. the serpent dreams, of living. it will live, forever. we got here by change, the chances we took. Inside out, outside in, I.am.stained.